Tuesday, May 22, 2007

REAL Magic vs. Bull Crap

So I realize that I might not have been clear enough on what I mean by REAL magic. Sure, it’s easy to look at Lance “Butterfingers” Burton (“Butterfingers” because the heat of REAL magic would melt his fingers off if he ever tried it!!) and know he’s a phony baloney. But there are plenty of situations you will find yourself in where you will need to know instantly if you are dealing with REAL magic or an After-School Special about non-magical suckiness.

Unfortunately, I am bound by my magician’s code to not reveal many of the secret signs or “Tells” that the person you are talking to is an actual magician (or if they ARE but DO NOT KNOW it… YET.). But I can tell you some things that ARE and ARE NOT REAL magic, and if you continue reading this blog you should also be able to pick up on a few more things (shameless plug but also the Truth!!).

REAL magic is NOT:

  • Flashy Las Vegas Shows

REAL magic IS:

  • Years of study and Apprenticeship at the side of an advanced magician or wizard

REAL magic is NOT:

  • Card Tricks

REAL magic IS:

  • Card Treats (LOL but seriously when REAL magicians use playing cards it is either to play poker with other magicians or to Commune with Death)

REAL magic is NOT:

  • Sawing women in half

REAL magic IS:

  • A little thing called RESPECTING women and Tools

REAL magic is NOT:

  • Making things disappear

REAL magic IS:

  • Making things appear, then vanquishing them back to the dark circle of Hell from which you summoned them

So, hopefully that clears things up for some of you.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Introduction aka Hold On to Your (Non-Magical) Hat

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Ablogcadabra, my own personal blog that is dedicated to a lot of things, the most important of which is REAL MAGIC (i.e. magic that is not Fake).

A little about me: I am a real magician and that is not BS. I know you are probably thinking that you've seen magic before like when you saw that one David Copperfield special on TV or when David Blaine didn't eat for a few weeks (also on TV). You are thinking WRONG.

TV magicians like David Copperfeeb use a little thing I like to call Special F/X, which was a Kick Ass movie starring Brian Brown (just "F/X") but is about as far from REAL magic as I can imagine without vomiting up a cat. And if David Lame (Blaine) thinks starving yourself for the cameras is REAL magic he must think Kate Bosworth is the love-child of Merlin and Harry Houdini (this would be impossible for DOZENS of REASONS like both are men and one is not real!!).
This blog is here to set the record STRAIGHT on REAL magic. If you have a fear of the awesome truths of the universe or any kind of heart condition, you might want to visit some other magic blog where they pull bunnies out of hats. In REAL magic we pull hats out of bunnies and then teach the bunny how to love.

Sorry if I just blew your mind.